When CoffeeBots Turn Evil

Yes folks, it really is different when they're your own.

BBBRRRRWWWRRRRRGGGGRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

I know that sound. I know it well.

It's a coffee grinder. I know that sound. I love that sound! I am not expecting that sound right next to my head jolting me out of a deep sleep at 6:10 in the morning. When the confusion clears, I realize that it's my newest neighbor and my latest alarm clock, like it or not. Trumps the Superman alarm by a couple of hours.

I've mentioned before that I live in a strangely shaped vintage building that's been remodeled to make the back part of my unit into a separate studio apartment. My bedroom is shaped in a way that the only place to put a bed larger than a twin is with the head of it right up against the studio's tiny kitchen. Yes, there's technically a wall in between my head and her sink, but you wouldn't know it with your eyes closed. I sleep in a kitchen, basically. I can hear glasses clinking, microwaves beeping, water running, and cabinet drawers sliding.

And I can hear the Evil CoffeeBot grinding at the crack of dawn.

Now, I understand her dilemma. Grinder Woman is not a morning person either, and she has a "normal" job. She needs her CoffeeBot. I would too! She also understands my dilemma. Being jolted awake from deep sleep hours before my body is ready to wake up does not make me A Happy Neighbor.

What to do?

She gave it her best shot. The day after I banged on the wall with my heaviest wooden Steve Madden sandal, I woke up to a more muffled Grinding of the Beans. She took the CoffeeBot into the other room, put it on the carpet, and smothered it with a pillow. Valiant effort, for sure!

Honestly, I was happy with that effort even though it still woke me up. It wasn't so jarring that I couldn't fall back asleep. It was a decent compromise. But when she apologized and asked me if I could still hear it, I was honest. I hate to deprive anyone of freshly ground coffee at an hour that I don't believe anybody should have to be awake. But even though misery loves company, please don't take me down with you!

I think she's pre-grinding at a decent hour now. Which, by the way, is what I do if I have to get up early. If I forget to pre-set the coffeemaker, I just make it a point to stop at Mr. Coffee's Fine Gourmet Coffee Shop (aka: Polly's Coffee) and get my fix. It's stronger there, anyway.

I love my CoffeeBot. I hate yours. That's just the way it is.